Miami Moments

15 Minutes in Miami: When I catch the MetroMover at Bay Front Park on my way home, I usually choose the rear car, which places me closest to the stairs at my next stop.

But today, I arrived on the platform with barely a moment left and only had time to slip through the closing doors of the first car. Once again, in the back of the car there was a gun, but this time it was attached to the bench of a Miami Mounty. Naturally, I went to the back bench.

I couldn’t read the name on his ID card, but I could read the description: Security Contractor. Wait a sec! What? Didn’t they read my post? Mounty Contractor, maybe.

And yet they can’t seem to decide on one title. Embroidered above the shirt’s pocket is another: Custom Enforcement Officer. Guess they’re all one of a kind!

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15 Seconds in Miami: Later today, while walking home, I heard a middle-aged man describe himself as an “abandoned waif,” watched a son with a sneer getting his picture taken by his mom, and then saw the same son conspicuously grab his crotch as I passed. A magical stretch of pavement.